


musical texting trash™️

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, Galaxy Gals, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Mullete - Freeform, Non-binary Laf, Pinkberry, Texting, Tree Bros, Treebros, arson bros, boyf riends - Freeform, eventually these tags will come true trust me sjjsjs, jeffmads - Freeform, richjake, texting fic, wow a lot of tags, zolana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:59:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15105701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: yes-i’m-heere: oh cooljk: chillmells-in-hell: stellarstar-eyes: great(c)h(l)oe: delightfullohst-and-found: fantasticgossip-girl: niftythe-new-shakespeare: sensationalik-i-set-a-fire: outstandingguess-who’s-beck: astonishingnot-an-acorn: phantasmagoricalmisanthropist: what the fuckalana sets up a chat for her aquaintences. it turns to hell. jared invites his camp friends. even worse hell.





	1. the wiggles is phantasmagorical

**Author's Note:**

> hi y’all this is my first fic and i’m hella nervous but welp,,,also all the relationships WILL eventually happen,this is only the beginningz d >;D

guess-who’s-beck added con-on-a-cob-,not-an-acorn,jk,star-eyes,mell-in-hell,yes-i’m-heere,jakey-d,ik-i-set-a-fire,gossip-girl,the-new-shakespeare,(c)h(l)oe,lohst-and-found.

guess-who’s-beck:hey! it’s alana beck, this is a friend group chat!

(c)h(l)oe: but i’ve only talked to you,like, once?

lohst-and-found: same

guess-who’s-beck: well, friends and acquaintances.

con-on-a-cob: i’m not your friend. or acquaintance.

star-eyes: shut up,Connor.

star-eyes changed con-on-a-cob’s name to misanthropist

misanthropist: what the fuck?

misanthropist: fuck you

the-new-shakespeare: hi alana!!!!!!!!!!

mell’s-in-hell: yo i only know like 50% the ppl here

yes-i’m-heere: same

jk: hahahha ull just have 2 figure it out

misanthropists: he’s jared kleinman

jk: damnit

mell’s-in-hell: oshit THE jared kleinman!?

jk: oh!!!! michael!!??!(!!!??.?))3(:(.!

yes-i’m-heere: who’s this...?

jk: jealous much

jakey-d: cough....that’s pretty gay......cough....

(c)h(l)oe: your username is literally rich’s nickname for you?

jakey-d:.......touché

mells-in-hell: anywayyyy jared’s my cousin

yes-i’m-heere: oh cool

jk: chill

mells-in-hell: stellar

star-eyes: great

(c)h(l)oe: delightful

lohst-and-found: fantastic

gossip-girl: nifty

the-new-shakespeare: sensational

ik-i-set-a-fire: outstanding

guess-who’s-beck: astonishing

not-an-acorn: phantasmagorical

misanthropist: what the fuck

guess-who’s-beck: p h a n t a s m a g o r i c a l

ik-i-set-a-fire: added to my personal dictionary

jakey-d: how the hell

not-an-acorn: jared darrd me to memroize a dictijanry-

the-new-shakespeare: that’s really cruel

jk: exactly

star-eyes: y’all omg

ik-i-set-a-fire: “””y’all””

star-eyes: ienoiwbbisbisbis 

not-an-acorn: ????

misanthropist: FUCK NOPE

star-eyes: hessvisisub watchinggg dndbdn CooKking

the-new-shakespeare: i’m concerned????

star-eyes: connor fucking murphy (misanthropist) is watching coooking channels i can’t sibisjbsnjs

jk: OH MY FUCKING GOD

the-new-shakespeare: language!

guess-who’s-beck: thank you,christine!!

not-an-acorn: connor i could never judge you bc ily but what the heck who watches those other than zoe

yes-i’m-heere: you can swear y’know

guess-who’s-beck: it’s kind of a thing. he never swears.

jakey-d: “bc ily”,,,,,gay

mells-in-hell: it’s always jake that points it out. if that doesn’t scream repressed homosexuality then idk what does.

gossip-girl: guys why is there so many pictures of the wiggles on my phone wtf

yes-i’m-heere: wha

ik-i-set-a-fire: the wiggles as in the children’s music show where that fucking new yellow bitch replaced greg

star-eyes: ok wow guess-who’s-beck: he is really passionate about the wiggles

jakey-d: #richisaragingbisexualforgreg

ik-i-set-a-fire: i mean i’m not gonna deny it

jk: #richisaragingbisexualforgreg

yes-i’m-heere: where did chloe and brooke go

the-new-shakespeare: probably to sleep it’s 12:47 pm on a sunday yes-i’m-heere: ......good point

jk: alana can i add my camp friends they were asking why i burst out laughing and kept repeating “yellow bitch” bc theyre at my house 4 a sleepover

guess-who’s-beck: sure

jk added lafayeet, hammockton, turtlefuck, hot-pants,tftjeff,madison-madi-sin

hammockton removed tftjeff and madison-madi-sin

turtlefuck added tftjeff and madison-madi-sin

tftjeff: rude

the-new-shakespeare: introduce yourselves later go to sleep now we have have sChool tomorrow!!!!!

hammockton:no promises

misanthropist:i like this guy

guess-who’s-beck: half of us fell asleep already so now goodnight before i kick you all out


	2. pinkberry and 55 copies of shrek

ik-i-set-a-fire: would it be bad if i accidentally ordered 55 copies of shrek on amazon

misanthropist: what the fuck why were you ordering shrek at 7 am

hot-pants: that sounds like something i’d do tbh

misanthropist: ...but i will take one copy

star-eyes: what a wonderful message to wake up to

guess-who’s-beck: i agree

guess-who’s-beck: also @jared’s camp friends you can introduce yourself

hot-pants:,,,,,,,I AM HERCULES MULLIGAN,,,,tHE MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION

not-an-acorn: oh wow

lafayeet: i am marie-joseph paul yves roch gilbert du motier, marquis de lafayette but pleas call me lafayette. also i use they/them pronouns

turtlefuck:y’all woke me up but i’m john laurens and i’m allowed to say y’all because i’m from south carolina

tftjeff: whaddup i’m thomas jefferson but don’t call me thomas it’s weird

madison-madi-sin: i’m james madison.

hammockton: hi i’m alexander hamilton and i haven’t slept in a week

jakey-d: oh w o w

hammockton: also jared is still asleep what should we draw/write on his face

ik-i-set-a-fire: dicks

jakey-d: dicks

misanthropist:dicks

mell-in-hell: ice cream flavours and old slang

yes-i’m-heere: script to vines

the-new-shakespeare: quotes from the titanic

lafayeet: i’m,,, how you say,, confused

hot-pants: laf you know what confused means

guess-who’s-beck:jared deserves it

star-eyes: he really does tho

turtlefuck: i’m dying there’s just “rocky road”, “hurricane katrina? more like hurricane tortilla”, “gnarly”,”i’ll never let go jack,” and a bunch of sharpie dicks on his face

misanthropist: best day ever

hammockton: oh wait that was sharpie?

lohst-and-found: ALRIGHT WE’RE GOING TO PINKBERRY MAKE SURE JARED D O E S N O T LOOK IN THE MIRROR OR WASH HIS FACE

the-new-shakespeare: yes

not-an-acorn: he never does

(c)h(l)oe: oh wow

not-an-acorn: we’re also safe because he never reads up so wake him up

hammockton: alright

jk: whatsss up

mells-in-hell: we’re going to pinkberry

jk:how will everybody fit in a car tho

jk: 14 teens going to pinkberry

(c)h(l)oe: i can drive brooke chrissy and jenna

gossip-girl: okie dokie

mells-in-hell: i’m driving me,jeremy rich + jake

guess-who’s-beck: i can drive jared and his camp squad. my mom has a b i g car,,,

star-eyes: me,connor and evan can walk

(c)h(l)oe: okay good we’re meeting at the one by the mall :):):)):

jk: i dont like that smiley face

hot-pants: :)

turtlefuck: :)

hammockton: :)

jakey-d: :)

ik-i-set-fire: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may or may not have forgotten about aaron and the schuyler gals but we’ll meet them at pinkberry,,, it’s hard to write 14 characters shhhhh


	3. taylor swift from the bathroom

jk: why is everybody looking at me???

the-new-shakespeare: should we tell him

misanthropist:no

jk: TELL ME WHAT

jk: EVAN????

not-an-acorn: uHHhhHhHhh

jakey-d: evAN NO

yes-i’m-heere: evAANN

not-an-acorn: hhHhhhhzhhhhhhHHHHH

jk: !??!!!!!!!!???

(c)h(l)oe: GODAMMIT STOP YELLING AT JEFFERSON,HAMILTON

(c)h(l)oe: AND GET OFF THE FUCKING TABLE

hammockton: wow she’s scary

hammockton: john keep her away from me pls

turtlefuck: yes i will protecc 

jakey-d: i’m not even gonna say it

gossip-girl: ew jake got STRAWbERRY?!?!

jakey-d: yes i fucking did,you got a problem with it, salted caramel?

ik-i-set-a-fire: i spilled my fucking frozen yogurt 

star-eyes: rich why are you crying

jakey-d: fine you can share mine 

guess-who’s-beck: why are those 3 girls staring at you alex??

hammockton: OH SHIT ITS THE SCHUYLER HOES BRB

lafayeet: alex ditched us,,,i’m devastated 

hot-pants: let us grieve

hammockton: i have returned

hammockton: can i add the schuyler hoes

guess-who’s-beck: sure

hammockton added bootlegpeg,lizard,acute-angle

ik-i-set-a-fire: hi welcome to chilli’s

bootlegpeg: why isint burr here

tftjeff added your-obedient-servant

your-obedient-servant: why am i here

(c)h(l)oe: JARED FUCKING KLEINMAN EVAN TOLD YOU ONE TREE FACT STOP SINGING “HOW BAD CAN I BE” shidbisibdubsibni

jk:SHE FUCIN SLAPPED ME

acute-angle: we know

misanthropist: he just let out this fuccin girly gasp onmfnfndbd

misanthropist: i can’t breathe

yes-i’m-heere: btw now is the best time to say,jared,alex drew dicks and vines on your face

jk: I HATE YOU ALLL

mells-in-hell: i’m crying actually he just stormed out best reaction

(c)h(l)oe: brooke pleas this is your 24th frozen yogurt 

ik-i-set-a-fire: chug chug chug chug

the-new-shakespeare: does anyone else hear taylor swift from the bathroom

your-obedient-servant: what is wrong with you people 

yes-i’m-heere: tag yourself i’m taylor swift from the bathroom

mells-in-hell: i’m 24th frozen yogurt

misanthropist: i’m I HATE YOU ALL

madison-madi-sin: i’m ‘i’m crying’

hammockton: i’m best reaction

turtlefuck:i’m brooke pleas

tftjeff: i’m what is wrong with you people

bootlegpeg: i’m chug chug chug chug 

ik-i-set-a-fire: shit guys i gotta go and i won’t be able to talk for the rest of the night

mells-in-hell: you need a ride home? 

ik-i-set-a-fire: no i’m good but bye guys

guess-who’s-beck: yeah we should probably go home

hot-pants: yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m too tired but the others make an entrance and the taylor swift from the bathroom is jared


	4. y’all and bruises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS THIS IS SHORT I KINDA ABANDONED THIS ON PURPOSE BUT ILL KEEP UPDATING MAYBE EVEN REGULARLY

jakey-d added con-on-a-cob-,not-an-acorn,jk,star-eyes,mell-in-hell,yes-i’m-heere,guess-who’s-beck,gossip-girl,the-new-shakespeare,(c)h(l)oe,lohst-and-found,turtlefuck,tjeff,madison-madi-sin,bootleg-peg,hammockton,hot-pants,acute-angle,elizard,lafayeet and your-obedient-servant

jakey-d renamed the chat yarp what was that about

(c)h(l)oe: idk man but it’s concerning 

lohst-and-found: maybe he just had something scheduled 

jk: like a murder

misanthropist: jared fuck off

bootleg-peg: maybe his parents just wanted him home?

guess-who’s-beck: but he seemed so panicked 

guess-who’s-beck: did u even see his face like literally he was holding back tears 

turtlefuck: u don’t think,,,??

jakey-d: no it couldn’t he would have told me,right?

jakey-d: ....right?

mell-in-hell: hholy shit

lafayeet: that explains the ecchymoses et coupures!!!!

hammockton: ,,,,tbh i thought he was just very clumsy

elizard: to be fair he did spill his frozen yogurt and almost break that table

star-eyed: wait i’m confused

yes-i’m-heere: basically everybody thinks that rich has an abusive parent,,,tbh that would explain why he never lets us go over and stuff..

the-new-shakespeare: HILDJDNKDKNKNSKNSIBANINOAMI!!!!!!

tjeffs: what’d i miss?

hammockton: shut the fuck up jefferson 

tjeffs: jeez who shoved the chainsaw gently up ur ass

acute-angle: JESUS CHRIST CAN U ALL STFU

turtlefuck: y’all*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shhh don’t ask how they’re all friends now

**Author's Note:**

> the wiggles thing actually happened to me????


End file.
